An Apology Written in Shit

The cum stain

on your late grandmother’s antique coffee table

was ... inexcusable.

Judging from your reaction,

the Lorena Bobbitt in your voice,

it must have dried ... incorrectly.

It was meant to read:

“your brown eyes

have wrecked my heart

with their absence” –

shortened to “with love”

for obvious reasons.

I can only guess

what the new pattern

of residue implied.

Probably something like:

“this distance is fucking with me,

and I’m getting off on it.”

Such a down and dirty shame,

all those teaspoons of wasted effort

conjured from fantasies

(oh the things we’ve done

you’ll never know!)

you insist no longer stand any chance in hell...anymore.

Now that everything’s out of my system,

I leave you this last apology,

wiping my hands of our whole affair.